I do realize that I have been out of high school for only almost two years, but so much has changed (that’s what you’re suppose to say, right?)
As seen through Facebook, more than 30 of my friends have kids and another 25 who are married. The odd thing about this is that they are my age! Can you believe that? Is this what our generation is coming to? I either feel not included in this fast pace world, or I must be doing something wrong. In which, I know I shouldn’t feel neither of those feelings. I just finished looking at a friends profile, in who I’ve known for 8 years, I found out he is yet another one married… he’s 19. As soon as I realized this I thought about my 10 year reunion and how different it’s going to be. I figured in just one year out of high school I already have that many friends moving on with their lives, I couldn’t even imagine what’s going to happen in the next 9.
This also brought me to, “I have done absolutely nothing this past year”. I attended my first year of college (whoop de doo…), and still work full time in an office. I haven’t: gone on any trips (unfortunately), met my husband, or had a baby (not saying I want one right now). I feel like I have nothing to offer for anyone anymore. With that being said, I feel like I’m stuck. Once you’re in an office you’re never leaving… I don’t want to stay here for years to come (especially for what I’m being paid). I want to do something with my life and show my peers what I’m all about. I have thought of numerous careers to get into, though I haven’t decided on one and that has gotten me no where.
Speaking of careers, I got pretty serious in knowing what I’m going to do with my life…at least 5 separate times. 1. Cognitive Psychologist. 2. Massage Therapist. 3. Teacher. 4. Pilot. 5. Information Technologist, etc. Not one has any to do with the other, I feel like I’m still 5 years old switching careers every time someone asks me what I want to be when I grow up. This has been so frustrating for me. I have dozens of friends that have gone to college all over the country, they know exactly what they want to do and they are pursing it, great for them. Everyone is doing something in their life, except little ol’ Annie who is doing nothing. I may have several different talents that I’m sure I could pursue any career with, but deciding scares me since I know I have to stick with it for the rest of my life… and that’s a long time. If I keep switching I’m not going to be making a living for myself.
I’m 19, and I still live at home. I suppose that’s sorta normal… But with wage I get from my job and the cost of living in California, it seems like I’m never going to be able to get out. My sister, 23, moved out for 2 years to go to college in San Diego and has moved back afterwards. She’s working for the same job that she did before she left and hasn’t done anything with the degree that she has. This is what I’m scared of. She makes decent money still nothing near the cost it would be to live on her own, a roommate would be necessary and it’s just cheaper living with the pops. But for me, this has caused such a problem. Not knowing a career is setting me back further which means staying home longer. I have already gotten into some sticky situations with men since I don’t have my own place yet. I feel like I’m a 14 year old and I can’t do what I want to do.
I have dated a handful of guys throughout my high school career up until now. But nothing like my peers. As each passing month goes by my Newsfeed tells me that another friend has gotten married. Like really? C’mon… I’m not saying I want to get married right now, but it can’t be all that difficult to find at least a boyfriend, can it? Who knows? Maybe it is… 7 months ago I met a guy, couldn’t be any better. Perfect. Then he moved across the country. Time to start over again? Back to square one. I understand that I’m still young and I have a lot of life still to come, but can’t I at least have some fun in the meantime, that will make me feel not to insane to be single?
I just want to live the life that everyone is around me. It can be almost embarrassing when I reconnect with some of my peers and what I’m doing with my life. Maybe this generation is starting to be like it was 50 years ago. Moving out at 17, having kids at 18, start your career to support your family. If it is, life would have been a little easier with a heads up in middle school…